The New Letterman’s Sweater

In the 1950s everyone knew who a girl’s heart belonged to because of the letterman’s sweater she wore. When a young woman was ‘spoken for,’ her guy made sure she was wrapped in that cotton jacket as if he were sticking a flag in the top of her head that read “MINE!” (feel free to pause here to conjure a visual).

Not that this was only done in the 50s or always with a sweater.

 Throughout the years we’ve seen the exchange of school rings, charm bracelets, and even pictures in a locket. I know when I was a young girl at Patapsco High School it was a big deal that day Brian gave me his school ring to wear. It took us a while to work up to that point, too. Once we did, I wore that giant ring on my then tiny finger like it was the Vince Lombardi Trophy of dating. I made sure everyone saw it and no matter what outfit I had on that ring was going to be my main accessory guaranteed.

Eventually though we broke up, grew up and I had to give the ring up. Everyone knew we broke up too because that ring was gone.

Last weekend I had a date. Actually, I thought I had three dates. One Friday, one Saturday and one Sunday. Three different days, three different guys. I never do that but I was talking to a few very interesting people and thought it would be nice to get to know them each a little better over coffee or dinner before deciding which, if any, were going to be the one I would see again after the weekend.

Then Mr. Friday called to say he had to work late so that was off.

Mr. Saturday said he had to work Saturday and asked to reschedule to Friday. Perfect, right? Except he was still in Ocean City and wanted me to drive to Cecil County to meet him. I decided we should wait till he came back to town in a few weeks since it had been such a rough week at work.

Then Mr. Sunday confessed to having a girlfriend.

Not good on the dating front. It was like my love life had become a baseball game and I was the Baltimore Orioles. One strike out after another. (Okay, I know a few of you just booed me on that last part but in my defense, Mr. Friday is a huge O's fan and he did cancel on me and not reschedule so allow me that one sarcastic dig.)

By Sunday, I was pretty convinced I would make an excellent nun. I obviously don’t date much and I’ve been told I really look good in all black. As I contemplated this future of nunnery and all black clothing, I surfed Facebook. Hmmmm… Mr. Saturday was in Hampden with a ‘friend.' I know this because his status told me so. I suppose he made it to town after all. Okay, things do change.

By Monday, he had given his Letterman jacket to the ‘friend.'

You may wonder how I know this. I promise you it was not because I was sitting outside his window with binoculars and a really cool cat suit and a black ski mask (pause for new visual), but rather because it was written on the wall. Literally. There’s a new Letterman’s jacket – a new ‘school ring’ – and it’s called the "Facebook Relationship Update." It’s kind of like the school ring in that you can’t just say you’re in a relationship with someone. They have to agree to admit they are dating you too. Then it’s official.

So, Mr. Saturday had planned a date with me on Saturday, but by Monday he was "In a Relationship" with Ms. Hampden. The Facebook school ring was on her finger. Just as I wore Brian’s ring in high school, Ms. Hampden now leaves posts of “I miss you's" and “Sweetiepies" on Mr. Saturday’s wall and all the world can see that she has her own Lombardi Trophy. I, on the other hand, continue to work on my nun knowledge.

That Facebook has amazing abilities. I have seen steadfast relationships appear where there was no dating before. I have seen marriages announce to the world that they had become "complicated" and even seen a few husbands and wives become instantly "single" with the stroke of a few computer keys. Single. That quickly. Without the hassle of a divorce or an attorney. I love Facebook.

So, here it is another dateless Saturday. I am still studying for the nun test and trying on different black outfits. (Although, the no make-up thing could be a deal breaker).  For now the future is unsure. If you really want to know how this turns out in the end, I suppose it would be best to check back with me in a few months on Facebook and see if my
Relationship Status has been updated to “In a Relationship with God.”

 Only then is it offical.